Say “Thanks”. Ask Questions.

One of my penpals, Derek Sivers, used to do a lot of interviews. I’ve listened to many of them.

At the end of interviews, he’d often say:

“If you’ve listened to me talk for an hour, and you’re still here, we’d probably get along. Please send me an email and introduce yourself. I love hearing from new people.”

Whether they be authors, thinkers, musicians, or whatever, there are certain people whose work just speaks to me.

Years ago, I started to contact those people to let them know what I liked about their work. I usually also ask questions. As it turns out, I often get a response! While not always, sometimes their response sparks a conversation. Occasionally, from there, a friendship begins to grow.

Some of the relationships that I really cherish began as a simple message or email, thanking someone or asking questions about things that intrigue me about their work.

I used to think that people whose work gains some recognition would be inconvenienced by such unsolicited messages — that if I wrote a carefully thought-out note, it would be just another piece of unread “fan mail”.

Speaking later with some of these friends, the reality seems to be that most of them don’t actually get that many emails, comments, or messages from people who like what they do.

Among the messages they do get, very few are well-written or show much thought or consideration. So, when they do hear from someone who’s taken the time to share their appreciation and questions, they’re often eager to respond.

Since I began this practice, I’ve written articles that have been read by many thousands of people. (Not that they were particularly great. I just know how many monthly readers the publication had). After articles have been published, I’ve very rarely gotten emails or messages from readers. When I do, it often makes my week.

I know that I appreciate hearing from people who like my work. So, I try to give that gift to other people who put their handiwork out there.